greggoconnell.com blog

1. I was 14 years old at the time and it was the beginning of me having anxiety attacks. The feeling of the anxiety attack when it would occur was the feeling of being in a dream, kind of like a 3rd person experience so it would totally freak me out. Well, I had a basketball game one night and as the game started I began to have that same kind of feeling I had "the feeling of being in a dream" so I began to freak out and I ran off the court and yelled at my mom to tell her "LET'S GO, I NEED TO LEAVE". Remember this is in the middle of a game. My mom basically starts yelling at me "GREGG DON'T TALK TO ME LIKE THAT". I'm like whatever so I just run off the court and outside. My mom follows and we leave. I felt like such a douche bag, not only because I had an anxiety attack and those are demoralizing, but also because I left the game the way I did and my mom began yelling at me. I can laugh at it now but back then I felt like such a dweeb. I wish anxiety had a face because I'd piss all over it!

2. When I was 13 I twisted my testicle and I took 1 week off from school. By the time I had return to school word got out that I had twisted my left testicle. The kids at school started saying "What's up lefty" and "Hey how are you one ball". Fucking little Junior High Bastards I hope you all go screw yourselves! Ha ha again now I can laugh at it but back then twisting your testicle and having people find out before you want them to makes you feel like "less of a man". Imagine if I had a blog back when I was in Junior High? Shit I wouldn't have written about masturbating 3 times a day and how many points I scored in the basketball game.

3. When I was 19 years old I used to work at Putnam Investments. This was also during the time of my well kept grooming stage. I used to get my eyebrows waxed and stuff like that. No, the eyebrow waxing isn't the embarrassing part. The embarrassing part is I used Nair one night to get my uni brow off. You know how after you use Nair you're supposed to clean it off really really good? Well I thought I had, but the next morning when I woke up I had this big red patch across where a uni brow would go. The good news was I didn't have a uni brow made of hair but I did now have a uni brow made of a red burn mark. I looked so freaking ridiculous. I felt like such a stupid biotch. I wanted to call in the next day but I braved the humility and the red patch was gone 5 days later.

Come on guys you must have some embarrassing moments in your lives that you're dying to share with the class today!

gso

Labels: Embarrassing, Funny, List, Me

With the fall of the Roman Empire came the internet. Now not only do people that live thousands of miles away get to know me on a virtually personal level. They also get to meet other like minded individuals. From coast to coast, from the Carolinas to the Red Wood Forest, to the Gulf Stream Waters, To the New York Islands...This internet was made for you and me!

Now try and see how well you know me! The person with the highest score gets one of my guitar picks signed by me!

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Labels: Me, Questions

This Sunday night was a tad different than most of my Sunday Nights. First off, Emily had a dinner date with some of her friends downtown. Usually on Sundays Emily & I sit around the fireplace roasting marshmallows & telling each other secrets. Emily was out of the house at 5:30 pm and that's when the fun began!

After playing video games for an hour I decided to be productive and finally clean the bathroom! First though I needed to feed Herbie. So I grabbed Herbie's bowls and saw that they were dirtier than some of the language I use on my blog and decided to clean them. I finished cleaning his bowls and proceeded to turn off the water when I hear "SNAP" not "Oh Snap!" like the brotha's like to use but more in the sense of "uh oh something just broke". I mess with the faucet and the damn thing won't turn off and it's shooting water in the air and running very fast into the sick. I'm really lucky the drain wasn't clogged or otherwise I would've been bucketing water from the sink to outside. My apartment is so old and crappy that there were no turn off switches underneath the sink in the kitchen. So like the woman I am I call my girlfriend "ring, ring, ring" ok now answer. "Hey Em, the faucet is broken and won't turn off. I'm just wondering if you know how to fix it?" I must be the biggest waste of a man since Clay Aiken. I decide to call the landlord's emergency contact phone number. I get a hold of them and tell them the situation. She says she will send a handyman out my way. The handyman gets here at 7:30 pm to save my life from certain drowning and gives us a new faucet.

I think the moral of the story for me is to NOT use the faucet when I'm home alone, nor try being productive because it will just get me into trouble. Either that or maybe I should go take one of those handyman courses at like a community college. If it weren't for my witty banter and adult developed motor skills people might just think I'm slow!?!?

gso

Labels: Dangerous, Home, Me

Labels: Me, Video Games

One of my New Years resolutions for 2007 is to be a B-List bloglebrity. A bloglebrity is all about the amount of Vanity Fair, GQ, and People Magazine covers you can score. To be an A-List Bloglebrity on the Internet, it’s all about the amount of link love you can score. Right now I'm a C-List bloglebrity and to be fair and honest to myself the best I feel I could be in the span of one year would be a B-list bloglebrity.

I've been a blogger for a little over 2 years and my site has been growing quite steadily due to the fact that I look like Charlie Sheen, I'm funny like Roseanne Barr & I have the writing ability of a 3rd grader. When you add all three of those qualities up you've got a recipe for greatness!

Why do I want to be a more popular blogger you ask? Well that answer is simple! I want to loved and adored by people all across the world. I want to be the website you go to when you're about to commit suicide.. Then after reading something on my site you decide not to because you want to see what I'll write about next and you know you won't be able to if you kill yourself.

Yes we have global warming and Saddam Hussein about to be hung but what's more heartwarming then a 26 year old guy trying to make a living off of blogging about his life? Would you honestly rather read about the world blowing up or about how I twisted my testicle as a teenager? You'd rather read about me twisting my testicle!

Who really wants to work a real job? I don't want to be super rich or CEO of some lame ass company. I want the freedom to write about whatever I want and make a living off of it. If I don't move my personal bloglebrity meter up to B-List then I'm dooming myself a failure!

How do I make it B-list bloglebrity you ask? Well what I've been doing lately is finding other fellow bloggers websites and commenting on theirs, then asking them if they'd like to trade links. Almost everyone says yes. Take for instance today I told Dan that I posted a link to his website on mine and if he'd do the same. He responded with

"Thanks for linking to me Gregg but, unfortunately, I won't be able to
link to you because your musical tastes suck.

Just kidding (about the "not being able to link part"). I just did."

He came off as a complete and utter asshole at first but as you can see he redeemed himself with a "just kidding" to make things right. So you can see sometimes it takes thick skin or fore skin which you choose to be able to fend off harsh words from jealous bloggers.

I'll keep chugging along by whoring myself out like a crackhead trying to get her next fix. I'll do what it takes by linking sites on my website that bore me to pieces all in an effort to get to that next stop of bloglebrity status! Who the fuck's with me!?!?!

gso

Labels: Blogs, Me